Sacred Singleness Book Study :: Chapters 4 and 5

It’s Tuesday again! And we’re discussing chapters four and five this week of Sacred Singleness. There is so much to discuss that we will not talk about all of the questions – only a few. Please share with us this week how this book is speaking to you. If you aren’t reading along with us, still share your thoughts from today’s post. We learn from each other!

  Sacred Singleness: The Set-Apart Girl's Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment

Question 1: What is your experience in your church today regarding singleness? Do you feel “overlooked and disregarded”?

“They [singles] come to church hoping to find love, support, and encouragement, but often the very people who should be cheering them on in their life of abandonment to Christ are the ones who overlook or disregard them because they are not married yet.” Sacred Singlenessp. 57

As a single adult I went to every type of church in existence – so it seemed! Some that had no singles’ ministry. Some that still only had “college and career”, and for some reason at twenty-eight I just didn’t seem to fit into. And then others that seemed to have finally gotten the single thing right and had a thriving ministry for singles.

But regardless of the type of ministry, one thing is true – the church’s purpose is not to serve you. The church’s purpose is for you to serve others. I wrote about this in the 31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness series, and another article addressing singleness in the church is The Great Disappearing Singles Ministry. You will evidently be served because other people in the church are also called to serve. We are called to serve each other, our communities, and the world. But your goal should never be to find a church that serves you. It should be to find a church where you can best serve others and where others are doing the same.

With that said, it has been my experience that married women do not understand the importance of reaching out to unmarried women, and therefore do not do a very good job of serving them. I am not saying that this is a blanket rule. This is just my experience. I had a few wonderful married women friends who also were mentors to me, but for the most part married women seemed somewhat hesitant to get too close. I felt like they were a part of a secret club that I was not a part of yet. I often wonder if this was because of my insecurity or the reality. Probably a little bit of both.

That did not, though, give me a pass to not serve in my church or reach out or do what God was calling me to do. This was my cross that for that time I was meant to bear. God will give you everything you need to serve Him when you reach out to Him and ask. As we will learn in the chapters to come, this is supernatural. Finding contentment during singleness can only be done through God’s supernatural provision.

Question 2: The peace and joy you will experience by being consumed with God is supernatural. Does this free you from feeling like you have to achieve peace and joy on your own? Do you understand that it is nothing you can achieve on your own?

Rather than being preoccupied with solving the dilemma of our singleness, God’s Word says we should be consumed with loving, knowing, serving, and worshipping Jesus Christ. He will supernaturally enable you with the joy and peace you need in order to walk this narrow road.” Sacred Singleness, p. 70

I suspect that some of you are skeptical of this whole “surrender it to God and you will find peace” thing. I know that I was. I loved God, believed God, and served God, but it was hard for me to understand how I could find peace outside of something that I desired so badly. What I didn’t understand is that I could not find peace and would not find peace. Only through the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit within me would I ever be able to experience peace and joy in a time in my life when peace and joy felt impossible.

Eventually I experienced His supernatural peace and joy. At first it came only in small snippets. Surrendering is a daily act of obedience – not a once-and-for-all solution.

 What has this post or these chapters made you think about? How do you respond to these questions or the other ideas in chapters four and five? Please share with us in the comments! 

Next week we will discuss chapters 6 and 7! Download the discussion questions here:

Sacred Singleness – Chapter 6

Sacred Singleness – Chapter 7

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