When You Don't Like Your Child's Teacher

You may get a letter in the mail or maybe you take a trip to your child’s school and find out on a list outside the school door. However you find out who your child’s teacher will be for the upcoming year you may find yourself saying, “I don’t like my child’s teacher!”

Your reasons for not liking her may be very legitimate. Is she known as a yeller? Or does she have a reputation for being too strict or too easy? Or do you not like her because she doesn’t smile a lot?

Whatever the reason you may go into panic mode after learning your child was placed in a classroom with someone who you would not choose.

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This is a wonderful opportunity for you to model for your child how to handle less than ideal circumstances and people who you may not get along well with. Instead of going into a panic and yanking him out of the classroom, consider these thoughts first.

1. Not every teacher is best for every child or parent.

It is not politically correct to make a comment like this, but it is simply the truth. Just like every other human relationship we have, the teacher/child relationship is no different in that sometimes they work well, and sometimes they do not. Teachers, students, and parents come together with their own unique personalities and styles.

When I was a teacher I did not hide the fact that I was not the best teacher for every child. There is no doubt that I was good with some students while others would be better with someone else. And the same goes with parents.

So when you find out your child’s teacher, go into the relationship with an open mind. Just because your best friend’s child or your neighbor’s child had a bad experience with that teacher doesn’t mean that you and your child will.

2. Evaluate what the teacher can offer your child as opposed to dwelling on what she cannot.

Going back to yesterday’s post “How to Create a Relationship of Teamwork with Your Child’s Teacher“, be open to the reasons why God may have placed your child in this teacher’s classroom. Look at the teacher’s personality, teaching style, strengths and weaknesses, and think about how your child could benefit from her.

For example, maybe your child has difficulty with responsibility. She forgets easily, leaves things all over the house, or doesn’t take responsibility for her actions. A teacher who is known as being really strict with procedures may be good for your child even if she struggles with complying to all of the rules.

3. Never talk about your child’s teacher in front of him or her.

I cannot tell you how many times I experienced this in the classroom. Please know that most everything that goes on in your home is regurgitated in the classroom. Yes, it’s true. Children tell all openly and honestly. This includes comments about the teacher.

It is not appropriate for you to discuss your concerns or dislike about your child’s teacher in front of your child. For one, it simply is not fair to your child. He is the one who has to go to school everyday and be in the same classroom as this adult. When you talk details about your dislike for the teacher, your child will begin to build distrust and even fear of her himself.

Also, your child may begin to exhibit a disrespectful attitude based on what he heard you say. Not only does this teach a negative way to handle problems, it may perpetuate the problem. Your child needs to understand that regardless of your dislike for the teacher, she is an authority figure who was appointed by God for this time.

So is there every a good reason to request that your child be moved to a new classroom?

Yes, of course. But I would seriously evaluate your motives for moving him before doing so.

Are you trying to prove a point? Do you just not want to admit to issues your child may be having? Are you trying to create a “perfect” environment for your child? Are you fearful of something? Do you just not like her but for no solid reason?

Like I stated earlier, not every teacher is best for every parent and child. There are good reasons to move your child to another classroom. Reasons such as:

The environment is harmful either physically or emotionally.
You feel strongly based on your own evidence that your child remaining in the classroom would hinder him academically over the course of a school year.

However, the decision to move your child to another room should be based on what is best for him – not you.