Being pregnant with our first baby has caused me to think about the most bizarre scenarios. Scenarios that I have never thought about before. Scenarios that reveal my desire to be my child’s savior.
Last week I drove to Georgia, where I grew up, for my first baby shower with family and friends. I have driven to Georgia by myself countless times, but this time was different.
What if I’m in a car accident?
What if I go to a rest area and someone sees I’m pregnant and . . .
What if I go into preterm labor?
The recent stories in the news don’t help either.
From child molestation to movie theaters to Chick-fil-A I told my husband that in some weird way I wish our baby could just stay tucked inside forever. Then at least I would know that she is with me, safe and sound.
But I know that this isn’t the way God intended it. And I know He did not give me a spirit of fear.
Our first temptation when we are scared is to try to control the situation.
I have already begun making a list of rules to protect my child from this big, bad world.
No spending the night with friends.
No using the internet – at all.
No male teachers or coaches.
No sleep-away camp.
Then I wonder if I should even be bringing another life into this evil place.
Of course these rules sound ridiculous and impossible. Because they are.
Just like God didn’t intend for our unborn to stay tucked inside ourselves hidden from danger, He also didn’t intend for us to obsessively control her surroundings out of fear.
So what do I do with all of these thoughts swarming around? What do I do with the information I read about and hear on the news?
Do I cover my ears and say, “That will never happen to us?”
I have begun to realize that it is not my job to save my child from all of the sin, cruel treatment, sickness, and maybe even crime in this world. Oh, how even writing those words sends a tinge of pain right to my heart. It brings me to tears.
But I am simply not capable of saving her.
That is why God gave us a Savior – Jesus.
There is no doubt that as her parents God has charged us with the job of protecting our baby. But He has not charged us with the job of saving her. There is a big difference.
Every day I have to prayerful discern what God wants me to do to protect our child. Then within those walls of protection I have to trust Him to save her from whatever may come, and I have to trust that His will is always perfect to bring about His purposes. Then I will be pointing her back to Jesus by teaching her a life of trust.
Doing the opposite, building walls around her out of fear, will not only exasperate her, but ultimately she will not have a true picture of Jesus herself. She will see Him as controlling and fear-based. Jesus came so that we no longer have to live this way. He came to give us freedom and peace.
I am beginning to replace my thoughts of fear with thoughts of truth, and I am asking God to give me wisdom with how He wants me to protect our child.
Share with me. Are you tempted to be your child’s savior? Have you struggled with irrational (or even rational) fears as a parent?
This week I am linked up with: