It’s month two of the One Year No Dating Challenge! I hope you’re still following through with your commitment to spend ONE YEAR focusing on your relationship with Jesus so that you can discover who you are in Him and who He created your to be in order to live out those truths in your relationships and daily life. You can find month one’s post here.
This Month’s Theme: God has called you for a specific purpose for this present time.
Throughout my single years I thought my calling was to be a wife and mother. Why? Because since I was five-years-old if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have told you “a mommy.”
I went to college. I went to graduate school. And I became a teacher. Not because I sought the Lord and prayed fervently about what career He wanted me to pursue. But because what better job to have than one in which you can leave at 3:30 every day and have three months off a year to spend with your kids. Of course I quickly learned that teaching is everything but leaving at 3:30 and summer’s off. Two years in I knew that teaching was not my calling.
But my “calling” to be a full-time wife and mom didn’t change. The only problem was I wasn’t married, and I wasn’t a mom.
So I waited. And I waited. The years passed, and I found myself still in a job I hated convinced that I was called to be a wife and mother.
During this time my self-esteem deteriorated. My identity was so wrapped up in the desire of who I wanted to be that I couldn’t see who I was at the present time. I frequently asked myself, “What is my purpose?” and “Who am I?” My future was unknown, and I was scared.
Sometimes we think our callings are the same as our desires, and they’re not. Callings come from passions, which become desires, but callings also come from spiritual giftedness, talents, and circumstances.
When single women confuse their calling with their desire for marriage, they put their lives on hold convinced they are waiting to pursue their calling. Friends, God is keeping you single for a purpose. Right now he is not calling you to marriage unless you are engaged to be married.
Sure, anyone can thwart God’s ultimate best and find someone to marry them. But if you’re seeking His will in your life, and following His leading when it comes to dating and marriage, then you have to trust that He has called you for a specific purpose for this present time. One day you may be engaged and married. At that time your calling will become to be a wife. But for now, ask God to show you your calling as a single woman.
I have many regrets from my years as a single woman. One of the biggest is that I did not use my time wisely to truly pursue God’s calling for me. Instead, I tried to manipulate my life choosing college and majors and careers and even cities to live in based on my desire to be married. It was like I was trying to trick my life, or maybe even trick God, into marriage.
Don’t do this, friends.
You are made for more. You are made for more right now. There are tasks that God has for you that you can only do because you’re single. Seek them out. This is what will bring you the most satisfaction in your single years, and it will prepare you the most spiritually for what’s to come in your future.
Month 2 Challenge: Ask God to reveal to you His calling for your life right now in this present time.
And don’t just pray and ask once. Every single day cry out to God and ask Him to show you what He has for you do accomplish while you’re single. Ask Him for wisdom to hear His voice and the courage to be obedient. Most likely He will ask you to do something that you cannot do in your own strength. He’ll ask you to do something you think you’re completely unsuited for. That’s when you’ll have to fall into the truth that God will equip you and He always has His best for you.
Here are some scripture verses for further study and meditation: