Dear Single Lady,
Do you believe a boyfriend will fill the emptiness in your life and heart? I’ve been there. But let me tell you, a boyfriend does not fill the emptiness. My married friends have told me that neither does a husband. Yet, this lie is something so many single women believe.
Why do we think we need boyfriends in order to feel complete?
I think there are two possibilities – 1) Because we believe that Jesus is not enough or 2) Because we fail to spend frequent guilty time in his presence.
We must intentionally pursue Jesus daily in order to begin believing that Jesus is enough.
Over Christmas break I had a revolution about God’s satisfying love. While reading through Psalm 18, I discovered that I could dance with God. In verses 35 and 36, David states, “…your (God’s) right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip.” (ESV)
I love salsa dancing and I dreamed of salsa dancing with God. I read these verses and suddenly pictured dancing with God. His gentle hands would twirl and spin me around the room. Dancing can be an act of love, and now I realized I could have this love with God.
For days, I thought about and experienced the new love I had discovered. I was the same amount of happy and giddy that I felt the night of my first kiss with my high school crush.
Then what happened? The feelings went away. A week later, I realized I had not spent any time with God since my revolution. My mind forgot about my new revolution and was back to doubting.
In my moment of revolution I believed fully that God was enough, but as soon as I stopped filling my heart with God and his word – my heart and mind went back to doubting God.
Here are a few of those doubts:
Is God’s love enough?
Maybe a boyfriend would satisfy me more than Jesus.
God are you withholding things from me?
Can God really give me the feelings I had when salsa dancing with a guy?
God do you care?
A few days not spent in the word, and I’m back to believe lies.
Our hearts need to be refueled. My heart was becoming empty. I had not refueled it by spending time with God. My needs were not being met, and instead of turning to Jesus, I turned to this imaginary thought that a boy would fill the hole in my heart.
When we feel like our needs are not met, if they are relational or something else, it means we need more of Jesus.
When I don’t feel beautiful, I don’t need a boyfriend. I need more of Jesus.
When I long to cuddle, I don’t need a boyfriend. I need more of Jesus.
When I worry about not finding a husband, I don’t need to search for one. I need more of Jesus.
Friend, I know how hard it is to be single. I know how much we want to take control and plan our lives the way we think is best. But even if we get a boyfriend, without Jesus we will not feel complete.
Jesus is enough. Spend time with him. Search the Bible for answers and you will see God’s love for us all throughout scripture.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” – Jeremiah 31:3. (ESV)
God’s love is faithful.
God’s love is satisfying.
And God will complete you.
Joy is a regular contributor for Triple Braided. She is a recent college grad who experienced Jesus’s love and pursuit in college and surrendered her life to him. Jesus has brought her redemption, healing, hope, and a purpose. She feels called to encourage and help women in their walks with the Lord through her blog and ministry, Joy Pedrow Ministries. Joy writes about all topics that relate to young women. You can check out her blog: JoyPedrow.com or find her on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Joy invites you to join her on this life long journey of pursuing Jesus. She hopes to help you: Experience Jesus. Experience His joy. Experience His freedom.