Back in February I attended a writing conference outside of Charlotte called Writers Bootcamp. As all writing conferencing are, it was overwhelming and encouraging all rolled into one.
While I was at the conference someone (and when I say someone I mean someone who should know – like a published author or editor or someone like that) said that single women don’t buy books about singleness.
My first thought was “Then why am I here?” because I primarily write to single women. Then my second thought was “Is this based on hard, statistical evidence?” because they also said that no one buys memoirs, either, and personally memoir is my favorite genre. Not to mention that Melanie Shankle just released her third memoir, and the first two were New York Times Bestsellers.
Someone buys memoirs.
The person (and forgive me, but in all the overwhelm-ness I can’t remember who said it) went on to explain that it’s because single women know what books about singleness are going to say –
Don’t sleep with your boyfriend (or any boy).
Read your Bible.
God is all you need.
And pretty much single women don’t want to hear this because, let’s be honest, even Christian women want to sleep with their boyfriends (or continue), don’t have time to read their Bibles, and don’t believe God is all they need.
I know this because I was a Christian, single woman.
After I got over this making me a little angry, again being honest, I remembered back to the fact that I didn’t like reading books about singleness either. They were all the same, and most of them we’re so out of touch with my reality that I couldn’t relate.
For example, if a guy went to my dad and asked him if he could court me, my dad, in all likelihood, would have said something like, “Why don’t you ask her? And what does ‘courting’ mean, anyway?” I’m just keeping it real. Even though I highly respect family’s with this type of involvement, and I even agree that it’s ideal for parents to be involved in their daughter’s dating relationships and decisions, that wasn’t my reality.
So I understand. I really do. There aren’t many well-written, relevant books written for single women.
However . . .
Friends, I say this will the most loving heart. And I say this because I can say this because I was you and now I’m living consequences every. single. day. for not following the advice I’m about to give you.
It’s time to bury the excuses, grow up, get healthy, gain maturity, and listen to advice.
Recently a single woman in her late 20’s told me she doesn’t have time to read her Bible. Don’t have time to read your Bible? Then what are you doing? I’ve been there, and I wasted a lot of time doing other things besides reading my Bible. But now I’m here and I have a husband, a toddler, and a baby on the way. I can show you not having time to read your Bible. If you don’t have time, you never will. I promise you that.
The same woman was telling me about a guy she met. I asked her if he was a Christian, like a growing Christian, going to church, involved, prayerful. She told me that he is a Christian, but he doesn’t really go to church anywhere. Again the excuses began to fly.
This makes me sad because I’m a few steps ahead of her – and you. I see where this is going when you don’t.
Friends, enough is enough. There is no lukewarm relationship with Jesus. And I will tell you this, if Jesus is truly the greatest love of your life, you will not settle or tolerate any guy who Jesus is not the greatest love of his life. You want to share your greatest love in life with your boyfriend or future husband. Otherwise, what are you going to share?
I pray that you, single women, begin to humble yourselves and listen to what you know is Truth. It’s harsh, I know, but I didn’t humble myself then, and I will tell you that everyday God is doing the humbling for me now.
Listen to the advice and do it. It’s to help you, not hurt you.
So tell me, do you buy and read books for single women and about singleness?