Most of us know the couple names, ‘Brangelina,’ ‘Kimye’, ‘Bennifer’. Without one another they just do not seem complete. The media defines these couples as one being. The Bible defines marriage as coming together as one, however, what happens when the couple’s name becomes the individual’s identity? What happens when the unity runs so deep the individuals believe they really are nothing without the other? It is common for all of us to believe an individual is incomplete without the other half. In the past I have believed lies such as:
- I am nothing without a boyfriend or husband.
- I will only be happy through marriage.
- I will only be complete when I am in a relationship.
I have been in a few relationships in the past, and I have believed each of these lies at one stage or another. Each of these relationships led me to defining myself by the other person and by the relationship itself. This was in a period of my life where I had pushed aside all truth of God and instead believed I was only complete and worthy because I had a partner. I look back at those years and even though I had a boyfriend, even though I was in a long-term relationship with talk of marriage, there was still a sense of emptiness. I went into these relationships listening to the lies I mentioned above.
Satan, our enemy, knows our weaknesses. The enemy plays on our desires and wants to bring us down. I long to be married, so I begin to believe the lie that I will only be complete if my desires are fulfilled. The problem? When a relationship breaks down, there is a shock to my system. I feel alone. I feel I am on my own. I feel I am incomplete.
The good news about the lies is that there is an answer. It does not involve a 30-day quick fix solution. What it does involve is believing and trusting in Jesus Christ. Through Him, and Him alone, we are complete. And to counteract the lies, we need to see the truth:
Colossians 2:10a says, “And you have been filled in Him.” (ESV)
I have already been made complete in Him. If you have a relationship with Jesus you have been made complete in Him. There is no earthly relationship that can give us what Jesus has already given us – a complete, rock-solid, worthy identity and purpose.
This season of singleness has not been easy for me. I am still learning true contentment. But it has provided me with time to focus on the truth of God, and to get to know Him personally again. I may never be the next ‘Brangelina’ or ‘Kimye’, but one thing I have learned, and am still learning, is I am already complete in Christ.
Katie is an Australian in her mid-twenties seeking to live with purpose Down Under. She is a passionate writer who desires to see her words encourage and bring hope to young women. Katie lives with an American family and 2 cheeky dogs. You can read more on Katie’s blog – Our Seasons of Grace – and you can follow her on Facebook.