Today I want to share with you a story of spiritual and sexual abuse one of my blogging friends, Ashley Easter, experienced. I’m sharing her story because I want this blog to be a resource for moms of daughters, young women, and mentors of girls. I want to bring to light situations in our culture that are not talked about enough and that suppress and oppress girls and young women from being all that God created them to be. Whether you have experienced abuse yourself or not, statistics show that either you know a young girl who has been abused or one day you will.
Now that I have two daughters I am becoming increasing more aware of gender issues in our culture and in the church. I’m also more aware than ever about how women continue to be oppressed in our country and in countries around the world. My eyes have been opened to the fact that women are just as oppressed now as in years past.
I want to raise my daughters to know God truth and what He says about women. I don’t want their thoughts to be shaped by the lies of this world. However, there’s a lot of controversy in the church about what God says about women. Currently I’m praying, reading, and researching all of this for myself so that the Holy Spirit can guide me to teach my girls with wisdom.
First let me give you some background information on how I met Ashley. I actually have never met her in real life. She is a blogger, like myself, and several years ago I began reading her blog. Our blogging circles, as you might call them, sometimes overlapped.
I was always intrigued with Ashley’s life and story because she grew up very differently than I did. I encourage you to read more about her here, as she is much more qualified to explain her life to you than I am, but as a quick contrast she lived at home as a young woman after high school and referred to herself as a “stay-at-home-daughter.” I, on the other hand, left to go to college at age 18, never moved back home, and lived alone until I got married at 32. As you can see, a big difference. But I love reading about people’s lives, especially young women’s lives, and so I enjoyed reading Ashley’s blog.
A few years ago, right before she got married, Ashley began questioning her upbringing as a stay-at-home-daughter and changing her beliefs from a patriarchy/complementarianism view to an egalitarian/Christian feminist view. Because of her experiences and research, she is no longer an advocate of the stay-at-home-daughter ideology.
It was also around this time that Ashley participated in my 31 Days of Interviews with Single Women Making a Difference series. You can read her interview here.
Now let’s move forward to a blog post that Ashley shared on her blog a few weeks ago. It’s entitled Rick Boyer Sr. and Sexual Boundary Crossing: My Story. I will let you read it yourself because it speaks for itself about how to be aware of spiritual and sexual abuse.
Ashley then wrote a follow-up post called 4 Common Ways Churches Fail Abuse Victims (and What to Do Instead).
Needless to say I am very proud of Ashley. I cannot imagine the courage it took to write these posts and expose the truth. But as I told her, my prayer is that her bringing light to darkness will save many other girls’ lives. I’m praying Genesis 50:20 over her – “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
Now that my oldest daughter is three, I’m beginning to talk to her about her body and guidelines for how people touch her. Here are two other resources I am using that you might find useful:
How have you or are you teaching your daughters truth about who they are as women of God? I love to hear your suggestions in comments.
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